This is a Ticket Agency Sir!
Thursday, October 25th, 2007
Sarah over at dreamdust posted Cold-caller and got me thinking about a phone exchange that happened to me yesterday. I swear, this is a true story, if anything I’ve cut it down.
My mother asked me to buy some tickets to a show she wants to see when I visit her next month. I called the phone number to buy tickets and got a ticket agency (TA):
TA: “Company name,” how can I help you.
Me: I’d like to order two tickets to X for November 10th, one adult, one senior.
TA: Thank you. I’m putting you on hold for a moment.
Muzak (about a minute)
Me thinking: Must be checking availability.
TA: Thank you for holding. What is the date you’d like tickets for?
Me: November 10th, two tickets, one adult and one senior.
TA: Thank you. I’m putting you on hold for a moment.
Muzak (20 seconds)
Me thinking: What the heck is…
TA: Thank you for holding. How many tickets would you like?
Me: I’d like two, one adult and one senior.
TA: Thank you. I’m putting you on hold for a moment.
Muzak (45 seconds)
Me thinking: This is the most amazing thing, is she in training and asking her supervisor, what the hell…
TA: Thank you for holding. What show time were you interested in?
Me: What are the show times and how long does the show run?
TA: Thank you. I’m putting you on hold for a moment.
Muzak (at least a minute)
Me thinking: I’ve never experienced anything like this before, maybe I’ll write about this, or maybe I’m being too type A and everyone experiences this, I’m just ignorant…
TA: Thank you for holding. We have shows every half hour starting at 11:00 am.
Me: I’d like the 1:00 pm show.
TA: Thank you. I’m putting you on hold for a moment.
Muzak (about 40 seconds)
Me thinking: Yes, blog this and keep track of each interaction, this is so amazing…
TA: Thank you for holding. The 1:00 pm show is sold out. Would you like to choose another?
Me: Can you check 2:00 pm and maybe don’t put me on…
TA: Thank you. I’m putting you on hold for a moment.
Muzak (about 20 seconds)
Me thinking: amazing, fucking amazing, I wish this were recorded, it could go on YouTube…
TA: Thank you for holding. We have two tickets to the 2:00 pm show, would you like them?
Me: Yes and please do not put me on hold anymore, I’d like to pay for them and end this interaction without being put on hold, is that possible?
TA: Sir, this is a ticket agency, we get thousands of calls?
Me: Right, but you don’t personally answer them all at the same time, do you?
TA: I don’t understand your point?
Me: Might this sale have gone faster had you taken all of my information without putting me on hold? Then we’d be done and you could move on to the next.
TA: I can’t do that sir, we’re a ticket agency.
Me: What does being a ticket agency have to do with taking many orders in parallel or one at a time?
TA: I don’t understand your point? I’m putting you on hold for a moment.
Muzak (at least a minute)
Me: Oh my, this is the most amazing thing, I wish I’d have thought to record this. Stupid me.
TA: Thank you for holding. Can I get your name please.
Me: Richard Wanderman and my address is…
TA: Thank you. I’m putting you on hold for a moment.
Muzak…
TA: Thank you for holding. Can I get your address please.
Me: 202 Lake Road, Warren, Connecticut 06777 and my phone number is…
TA: Thank you. I’m putting you on hold for a moment.
Muzak…
TA: Thank you for holding. Can I get your phone number please.
Me: 860-555-1234 and my credit card number is….
TA: Thank you. I’m putting you on hold for a moment.
Muzak…
TA: Thank you for holding. Can I get your credit card number please.
Me: 1234123412341234, expires 09-09 and bills to same address.
TA: Thank you. I’m putting you on hold for a moment.
Muzak…
Me thinking: God forbid I made a mistake in the credit card number, we might have to do this again. Shit… This is not fun anymore, screw the blog, I just want out of this hell…
TA: Thank you for holding. Were there other tickets that you wanted?
Me: No, but could you repeat back to me what I just got, we’ve been at this so long I’ve forgotten.
TA: Thank you. I’m putting you on hold for a moment.
Muzak…
Me thinking. Ugh, please, please, please, I hope she got it all right, I’m dying here…
TA: Thank you for holding. You bought two tickets to the 2:00 pm show of X for November 10th and $XX.XX will be billed to your credit card. Were there other tickets that you wanted?
Me: No, that will be all the torture I can take at this time.
TA: We’re a ticket agency sir, you seem to not understand that.
Me: Click (hangs up phone).
Sounds like one of those miserable outsourcing situations. So annoying! Maybe you could just buy tickets online next time?
(Here from Dreamdust…)
try dealing with the French public workers. but really this is hysterical. And if you want to laugh see this movie: Call Center.
Edward, right, I love those movies (there are a few). Great, thanks.
Idiocracy
Great word Andrew.
I think it comes down to amazingly stupid systems analysis, or, they think that getting people sucked in and on hold will sell more tickets.
Make 100 people mad on hold
Sell slightly fewer tickets but have happy (and repeat) customers.
Seems like a no-brainer to me.
what, why would they be more happy if they are on hold?
Good Lord! Seems like the hold button might have been wired to her enter key or something along those lines!
Are you sure it was one person the whole time?
Yes, it was one person taking my order the whole time. I could hear her frustration as I got more frustrated. Made me think that she was doing this to get me mad but in fact, I’m quite positive from her reaction that this is the way they do business. Amazing.
Beth: Right, I tried to buy the tickets online but their site sucked and was so bad I just called. Might have been better to struggle through it through (20/20 hindsight).
Richard, obviously outsourced to a foreign country…sooo bad, and not worth the frustration. Try to find another U.S. source, or find the email address of the “ticket agency” and send an email or letter with a copy of your blog…might work!
Diane: Actually not outsourced to a foreign country. I’m sure of it. The woman on the phone was an American for sure.
Holy crap! I’ve been reading Kafka all week for school and this story got me feeling all creepy and sweaty again…
“You seem not to understand, sir…” Whooah… like a voice in a nightmare.
Sheryl: exactly, very Kafkaeque. Really made me scratch my head. However, much in the world is making me scratch my head these days.
Wow! You’re really patient! I guess you had to do it for your mom. I would have hung up after the third time she put me on hold.
Since you had to call them, I guess they didn’t have an option to buy tickets online. If they receive so many calls, maybe they should consider an online store.
I thought the service was outsourced too but after reading your comments, I realized it’s not.
Very interesting!
Mayank: they did have an online option but somehow it would not let me buy tickets for more than a few weeks out, or, so it seemed to me. I always buy online if I can but resorted to phone hell as a last resort. Right, my mother put me up to it, that’s a good way to put it.
Once, during my early years in the SF Bay area, I was barely in time for a flight out of SJC, and the agent at the check-in warned me that I have a fair chance of missing it if I’m not at the gate on time.
He then proceeded to type in details from my ticket (or print-out, can’t recall) by holding the paper in one hand and hunting-and-pecking the keys on the keyboard. This, of course, wasted several minutes of my time and I remember getting to the gate just as it was going to close.
Your experience makes me wonder if the agent was putting you on hold to slowly type your information in, without actually knowing how to touch-type or letting on that she doesn’t have the WPM she claimed to have in her application. Other than that I can only imagine she was eating, on AIM or something, or trying to handle a personal call.
Manish: all of those are possible, but I’m almost positive that she was handling more than one call at once, in parallel and moving 1 inch forward on each one, then switching to another. The idea that some systems manager thought this was a better way amazes me. No doubt they designed it like this to get people locked in rather than on hold before taking the call. I’d have loved to have been a fly on the wall at the meeting where this was decided… Sigh.