Category Archives: Quotations

Proverbs

I’ve been collecting proverbs for years and figured I’d put my collection online for others to use as they wish. I’m adding country, language and or ethnic origins over time so the list will be updated with that information. Enjoy these proverbs, use the comment form to share any you don’t find here.

More on proverbs: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proverb

Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.
- Japanese Proverb

If triangles had a God, He’d have three sides.
- Yiddish proverb

The difficult we do immediately. The impossible takes a little longer.
- American Proverb (U.S. Army Corp of Engineers)

Molasses catches more flies than vinegar.
- Italian Proverb

Examine what is said, not him who speaks.
- Arab Proverb

All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move.
- American Proverb (Benjamin Franklin)

Experience is a comb that nature gives us when we are bald.
- Belgian Proverb

Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend’s forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
- Chinese Proverb (Lao Tzu)

The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.
- Chinese Proverb

If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.
- Chinese Proverb

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
- Chinese Proverb

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.
- American Proverb (Billy Graham)

Too clever is dumb.
- American Proverb (Ogden Nash)

Charity sees the need, not the cause.
- German Proverb

Do not insult the mother alligator until after you have crossed the river.
- Haitian Proverb

A dog is a dog unless he is facing you; then he is Mr. Dog.
- Haitian Proverb

When an elephant is in trouble even a frog will kick him.
- Hindu Proverb

The believer is happy; the doubter is wise.
- Hungarian Proverb

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
- Indian Proverb

It is better to be a coward for a minute than dead for the rest of your life.
- Irish Proverb

Love kills time. Time kills love.
- Proverb

Bed is the poor man’s opera.
- Italian Proverb

The reverse side also has a reverse side.
- Japanese Proverb

To teach is to learn.
- Japanese Proverb

Knowledge without wisdom is a load of books on the back of an ass.
- Japanese Proverb

God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.
- Jewish Proverb

Anger is as a stone cast into a wasp’s nest.
- Indian Proverb (Malabar)

No one can say of his house, “There is no trouble here.”
- Chinese Proverb

When the cat and mouse agree, the grocer is ruined.
- Persian Proverb

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Fran Lebowitz Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations by Fran Lebowitz you don’t find here.

More on Fran Lebowitz: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fran_Lebowitz

Twenty-four hour room service generally refers to the length of time that it takes for the club sandwich to arrive.
- Fran Lebowitz

All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
- Fran Lebowitz

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
- Fran Lebowitz

Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.
- Fran Lebowitz

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
- Fran Lebowitz

Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
- Fran Lebowitz

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
- Fran Lebowitz

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Groucho Marx Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations by Groucho Marx you don’t find here.

More on Groucho Marx: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_marx

Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants to live in an institution?
- Groucho Marx

Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun!
- Groucho Marx

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
- Groucho Marx

I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
- Groucho Marx

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.
- Groucho Marx

She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
- Groucho Marx

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
- Groucho Marx

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.
- Groucho Marx

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
- Groucho Marx

A man is as old as the woman he feels.
- Groucho Marx

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Quotations about marriage

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations about marriage you don’t find here.

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
- Irwin Corey

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

The trouble with wedlock is that there’s not enough wed and too much lock.
- Christopher Morley

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

My advice to girls: first, don’t smoke – to excess; second, don’t drink – to excess; third, don’t marry – to excess.
- Mark Twain

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
- Stephen Leacock

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Prediction Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any interesting prediction quotations you don’t find here.

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons.
- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
- David Sarnoff’s associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s

We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.
- Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.
- Western Union internal memo, 1876

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C,’ the idea must be feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith’s paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
- H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927

A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make.
- Response to Debbi Fields’ idea of starting Mrs. Fields’ Cookies

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Quotations about Learning

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations about learning you don’t find here.

I never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain

I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.
- Al McGuire

Education is learning what you didn’t know you didn’t know.
- George Boas

I quit school in the fifth grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it but because I couldn’t spell it.
- Rocky Graziano

Experience is a good school, but the fees are high.
- Heinrich Heine

Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together.
- Georg Christopher Lichtenberg

Any place that anyone young can learn something useful from someone with experience is an educational institution.
- Al Capp

The great difficulty in education is to get experience out of ideas.
- George Santayana

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
- Mark Twain

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
- Douglas Adams

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Dog Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations about dogs you don’t find here.

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
- Rita Rudner

America is a large friendly dog in a small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair.
- Arnold Toynbee

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
- Robert Benchley

Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you.
- Mary Bly

Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about little puppies.
- Gene Hill

In dog years I’m dead.
- Unknown

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
- Dave Barry

I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.
- Penny Ward Moser

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Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations by Ralph Waldo Emerson you don’t find here.

More on Ralph Waldo Emerson: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ralph_Waldo_Emerson.

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is the hardest task in the world? To think.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is no use to preach to me from without. I can do that too easily myself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I hate quotations.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am ashamed to see what a shallow village tale our so-called history is.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every man is wanted, and no man is wanted much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Respect the child. Be not too much his parent. Trespass not on his solitude.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are always getting ready to live, but never living.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The sum of wisdom is, that the time is never lost that is devoted to work.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I look on that man as happy, who, when there is a question of success, looks into his work for a reply.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Josh Billings Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations by Josh Billings you don’t find here.

More on Josh Billings: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josh_Billings.

The trouble with people is not that they don’t know but that they know so much that ain’t so.
- Josh Billings

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.
- Josh Billings

There is gravity in wisdom, but no particular wisdom in gravity.
- Josh Billings

There’s a great power in words, if you don’t hitch too many of them together.
- Josh Billings

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.
- Josh Billings

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
- Josh Billings

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.
- Josh Billings

A learned fool is one who has read everything, and simply remembered it.
- Josh Billings

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
- Josh Billings

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
- Josh Billings

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George Bernard Shaw Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations by George Bernard Shaw you don’t find here.

More on George Bernard Shaw: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Bernard_Shaw.

The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.
- George Bernard Shaw

If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience!
- George Bernard Shaw

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
- George Bernard Shaw

A doctor’s reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care.
- George Bernard Shaw

Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.
- George Bernard Shaw

Fashions are induced epidemics.
- George Bernard Shaw

An asylum for the sane would be empty in America.
- George Bernard Shaw

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Cat Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations about cats you don’t find here.

Dogs come when they are called. Cats take a message and get back to you.
- Mary Bly

When the cat and mouse agree, the grocer is ruined.
- Persian Proverb

Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.
- Oliver Herford

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
- Jeff Valdez

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
- Steven Wright

Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat.
- Sir Julian Huxley

Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
- Ambrose Bierce

I do not know what the cat can have eaten. Usually I know exactly what the cat has eaten. Not only have I fed it to the cat, at the cat’s insistence, but the cat has thrown it up on the rug, and someone has tracked it all the was over on to the other rug. I do not know why cats are such habitual vomiters. They do not seem to enjoy it, judging by the sounds they make while doing it. It’s their nature. A dog is going to bark. A cat is going to vomit.
- Roy Blount Jr.

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Ambrose Bierce Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations by Ambrose Bierce you don’t find here.

Note: I’ve got quite a bit of The Devil’s Dictionary included here.

More on Ambrose Bierce: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambrose_Bierce.

A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.
- Ambrose Bierce

A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
- Ambrose Bierce

A cynic is one who never sees a good quality in a man, and never fails to see a bad one. He is the human owl, vigilant in darkness, and blind to light, mousing for vermin, and never seeing noble game.
- Ambrose Bierce

A man is known by the company that he organizes.
- Ambrose Bierce

A penny saved is a penny to squander.
- Ambrose Bierce

Prejudice, n. A vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
- Ambrose Bierce

Prehistoric, adj. Belonging to an early period and a museum. Antedating the art and practice of perpetuating falsehood.
- Ambrose Bierce

Quoting, n. The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
- Ambrose Bierce

Specialist, n. One who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.
- Ambrose Bierce

Absurdity, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
- Ambrose Bierce

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W. C. Fields Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations by W. C. Fields you don’t find here.

More on W. C. Fields: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W.C._Fields

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
- W.C. Fields

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
- W.C. Fields

I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
- W.C. Fields

Somebody put pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
- W.C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
- W.C. Fields

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
- W.C. Fields

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake – which I also keep handy.
- W.C. Fields

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
- W.C. Fields

A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
- W.C. Fields

I’ve never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother.
- W.C. Fields

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Mae West Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations by Mae West you don’t find here.

More on Mae West: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mae_West.

Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.
- Mae West

So many men, so little time.
- Mae West

It’s not the men in my life; it’s the life in my men.
- Mae West

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
- Mae West

I only like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
- Mae West

Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.
- Mae West

I’ve been in more laps than a napkin.
- Mae West

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
- Mae West

He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West

She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
- Mae West

Whenever I’m caught between two evils, I take the one I’ve never tried.
- Mae West

I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.
- Mae West

Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
- Mae West

When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I’ve never tried before.
- Mae West

I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. Believe me, rich is better.
- Mae West

I always say, keep a diary, and some day it’ll keep you.
- Mae West

It ain’t no sin if you crack a few laws now and then. As long as you don’t break any.
- Mae West

It’s better to be looked over than overlooked.
- Mae West

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
- Mae West

Woody Allen Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations by Woody Allen you don’t find here.

More on Woody Allen: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woody_allen.

I am at two with nature.
- Woody Allen

I took a speed reading course and read ‘War and Peace’ in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
- Woody Allen

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
- Woody Allen

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
- Woody Allen

It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
- Woody Allen

If it turns out that there is a God, I don’t think that he’s evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he’s an underachiever.
- Woody Allen

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
- Woody Allen

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
- Woody Allen

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
- Woody Allen

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

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2000 Quotations by Women

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations by women you don’t find here.

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do anything that feels GOOD for 36 hours.
- Rita Rudner

In life as in the dance: Grace glides on blistered feet.
- Alice Abrams

Prejudice squints when it looks, and lies when it talks.
- Duchess de Abrantes

Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel.
- Bella Abzug

All the men on my staff can type.
- Bella Abzug

I prefer the word “homemaker” because “housewife” always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.
- Bella Abzug

Congress is a middle-aged, middle-class, white male power structure… no wonder it’s been so totally unresponsive to the needs of this country.
- Bella Abzug

I began wearing hats as a young lawyer because it helped me to establish my professional identity. Before that, whenever I was at a meeting, someone would ask me to get coffee–they assumed I was a secretary.
- Bella Abzug

Time wounds all heels.
- Jane Ace

The chickens have come home to roast.
- Jane Ace

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Benjamin Franklin Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any Franklin quotations you don’t find here.

More on Benjamin Franklin: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_Franklin.

We must all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately.
- Benjamin Franklin

One of the greatest tragedies of life is the murder of a beautiful theory by a gang of brutal facts.
- Benjamin Franklin

There is no kind of dishonesty into which otherwise good people more easily and frequently fall than that of defrauding the government.
- Benjamin Franklin

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin

If you would persuade, you must appeal to interest rather than intellect.
- Benjamin Franklin

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
- Benjamin Franklin

Clean your finger before you point at my spots.
- Benjamin Franklin

He that lieth down with dogs shall rise up with fleas.
- Benjamin Franklin

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

He that falls in love with himself, will have no rivals.
- Benjamin Franklin

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Mark Twain Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. I’m starting with Mark Twain because we’re coming up on the 100th anniversary of his death and he’ll be in the news for a while. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any Twain quotations you don’t find here.

More on Mark Twain http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_twain.

If the world ends, I’ll just head on down to Kentucky because they’re always 20 years behind.
– Mark Twain

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
– Mark Twain

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.
– Mark Twain

Familiarity breeds contempt–and children.
– Mark Twain

Principles aren’t of much account, anyway, except at election time.
– Mark Twain

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
– Mark Twain

The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.
– Mark Twain

Everything has its limit–iron cannot be educated into gold.
– Mark Twain

There ain’t no way to find out why a snorer can’t hear himself snore.
– Mark Twain

Where prejudice exists it always discolors our thoughts.
– Mark Twain

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth isn’t.
– Mark Twain

Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.
– Mark Twain

Temperate temperance is best; intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.
– Mark Twain

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